Everyday Poems

Here are some mundane things I tried to make interesting by writing them down as poems.

Haiku for the Weekend

A haiku is like
A weekend. Hardly begins
And is then over.

Fruit Fly in Coffee - limerick

I thought to myself, "This fruit fly
In my coffee will drown and die."
But turns out that it
Drank a little bit
And became unnaturally high.

Fruit Fly in Coffee - haiku

I thought the fruit fly
In my coffee would drown, but
It just turned hyper.

Dairy-free "Ice Cream" - limerick+haiku

It seemed easy to make, so I
Gave dairy-free ice cream a try,
But I should have known
From the name alone
That it was a terrible lie.

So then I ate some
Ordinary ice cream from
A shop. It was yum.

Street Pics - haikus

I took a photo
of a pretty lane, and drew
a picture of it,

then took a photo
of the picture so I could
show it to some folks.

A few days later,
I came across the photo
on my computer.

I thought to myself,
"Wow, my picture looks just like
a photo. Yay me!"

But turned out it was
the original photo
I was looking at.

Masquerade Glasses  

My friend is getting glasses.

We were discussing frames
when suddenly, a brilliant
idea to me came.

Those masks in masquerade balls
or ones sold at a fair
could become frames for spectacles
you regularly wear.

They could use one-way mirrors
so the wearer can see
all of the world while hiding his
or her identity.

All those designs and colours!
Oh, wouldn't that be fine!
I'd have a dozen pairs, and I
would wear them all the time.

I'd made this as a decorative mask, but imagine it as a frame for glasses. Cool, right?

Until I have the time to design my own, here are a couple of images I'm borrowing from the mighty internet just to give you a clearer idea.

Stronger = Better

This always makes me laugh.

Over the years, the general level of animosity towards espresso seems to have greatly diminished. It's still very much present, but I don't have these (previously very common) exchanges in cafes any more:

I've really downplayed the average conversation length and waiter's confusion.

And after all that, this is how it was served:

I always drank the milk separately. I mean, you may not want it in your coffee, but if they're giving you milk, you might as well drink it.

Maybe one of the reasons I don't have to deal with all that now is because I don't order coffee at a cafe/restaurant any more. I just buy ground beans and make it at home, as strong as I like. None of that milk, sugar, and whipped cream nonsense.

Why I love Gilmore Girls Reason #2: They really get coffee.

Contrary to what some of my friends may think, there's more than just one reason why I love GG.

They seem to be making something close enough in coffee shops. One of my friends showed me this new coffee that sounds delicious and apparently isn't sold in a large cup because it's so strong. Look!

Now I do know a couple of people who make good strong coffee, but I've come to accept that when most people say "strong", it's usually what I'd categorize as weaker than average.
So when I have coffee made by someone else, it's pretty awkward when they ask me how it is. Sometimes I get away with a cheerful "it's coffee!" and a huge smile (before gulping it down so I don't have to suffer through it too long). But there are some who just have to keep asking.

*People must either think I'm bluffing or not understand how strong decoction can be

Then I watch their eyes grow wider in horror as I keep saying "maybe just a little more" until I stop because I don't want them to have a heart attack. And of course my coffee is still only almost-average strength.

Here's a relatively recent instance when I was particularly frustrated but couldn't say anything because this lady was so sweet:

She then added the decoction with a tiny coffee spoon, so after a few spoons, I had to say

when what I really wanted to say was:

And lastly, here are some words of wisdom from a 7-year-old student of mine: "If you drink coffee, then your brain goes mad". She's not entirely wrong.

Tea is for calm. Coffee is for crazy.

P.S. - Why I love Gilmore Girls: Reason #1, in case you're wondering:

"Really? You seriously thought you could write about Gilmore Girls without mentioning me?"

"I dare you to try again."

Fine, whatever. Milo Ventimiglia is awesome. I've not even watched any of the GG episodes he isn't in. And yes, he's a lot older now and looks different, but he's still hot. In fact, I'm about to go watch him on Ellen's show in a few minutes, so bye!

Stupid Sayings

Sometimes we say things without thinking about them simply because they've been said several times before. Luckily, once in a while, we realize that just because a phrase is used commonly doesn't mean it's true. Here are some examples:


> What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Counter explanation from Modern Family's Manny:

Thanks, Manny! Sorry, Kelly Clarkson. I like that song, but it isn't true most of the time.


> The road to hell is paved with good intentions...

...making it just like the road to heaven, yes?


> Your day will go the way the corners of your mouth turn

Ideally, yes, but we don't live in Utopian conditions. Wait, scratch that. I just realized that this also implies that if, say, you're crying, your day will continue to be crappy. That's mean.
It's much more likely that your day will depend on whether or not you had coffee in the morning.
For example, you can't not be happy (or happier, if you started off sad) on a regular day when you have this:

I've been seeing many similar pictures lately. Dying to get hold of one of these!

> If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.

Reality check: nothing is really yours. Nothing at all. Think about that.

> Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Rebuttal:

And a great fruit salad at that. Case closed.

> He who laughs last laughs longest

Or maybe it seems that way because he started after everyone else. Literally taken, it's logical enough, but the implied meaning seems off. He who laughs last probably just takes longer to understand the joke. This is one of those sayings that ought to be taken at face value. And speaking of face value...


> Beauty is skin deep.

I could say a lot about this, but Roald Dahl and Quentin Blake say it best:

Seriously, this will never stop being relevant. It's something we ought to think about every day.

> A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.

It should, but I doubt it would. When I was little, mom sometimes spruced up leftover rice with vegetables and things, and a "risotto" or a "kedgeree" definitely tasted a lot better than, say, "leftovers" or even "fried rice".

So maybe a rose by any other name would be just as sweet-smelling. But would it actually smell just as sweet? Probably not.


> Roses are red, violets are blue, etc.

Who made up this silly rhyme? And more importantly, why is it popular across so many generations? Besides, aren't violets called violets because they're violet? Blue-ish, maybe, but not blue.

Hope I've covered all the rose colours.

This is fun. I'm already getting carried away thinking of more stupid sayings I can point out flaws in. Going to dissect a few more very soon.

Coffee and Tea

There used to be a time when I couldn't tell the difference between tea and coffee. It was many years ago, but still rather inexcusable, especially for someone whose parents make tea everyday. I blame the ignorance partially on the way most places disguise both drinks with a lot of milk and sugar and partially on the fact that I was young and stupid.

I don't have a story about my first cup of coffee; in fact, I don't even remember when and where I began drinking it, but I'm certain it was milk coffee with sugar. Once I was somehow able to tell it apart from tea, it wasn't long before I looked upon it with reverence. I'd grown up drinking milk while the grown-ups drank tea (without milk and sugar, of course) so coffee was quite the novelty.

Coffee became my drink of choice, transmogrifying from sweet and milky to bitter and black. It wasn't long before I'd completely turned my back on tea. However, things change. For a while, coffee was the most fascinating thing in the world. But then something happened - so sneakily that I didn't even realize at first (or maybe I just didn't want to believe it). It may have simply been a period of bad coffee, but my body seemed to be rejecting it, so I turned to tea who was just waiting to step in and save the day(s).

That revelation might have been the effect of all the coffee in my system. I had a friend tell me once that there was "too much blood in your caffeine system". However, I was convinced that my Assamese roots were taking over and punishing me for straying from my natural path, so I decided to make up for lost time.

I found I really enjoyed tea. So much that I didn't even miss coffee for a while. Oh, and all you people hating on green tea must know this: green tea is NOT what you get in those awful tea bags people use because they're trying to lose weight. In fact, I'm not sure those have tea in them at all. I suspect it's tea-scented sawdust. Anyway, it's just tasteless marketing.
Green tea is beautiful, and drinking it is a sublime experience. Try it. Can't guarantee you'll love it, especially if you're a sweet milk tea person, but I can promise it's fragrant and flavourful and not hate-worthy at all.

Most people are firm about their identities as tea drinkers or coffee drinkers, and both sides will try to convince you that their drink is undoubtedly better. If we're talking sweet and milky, I'm Switzerland - neutral because I dislike both. But if it's just a general coffee versus tea debate, I'll most likely side with the minority to balance it out a little.

Truth is, I need both. Strong coffee in the morning, light tea through the rest of the day. If I seem more excited at the mention of coffee, it's only because finding coffee the way I like it seems much easier here than finding good tea.

Coffee is infatuation. Tea is love. Both are wonderful.

(Good?) Mornings

It's 7 A.M. and the sun says, "Surprise!

I'm here once again to push you out of bed."

I crawl out reluctantly, rubbing my eyes,

Already angry and half drenched in sweat.

Not even awake but I'm starting to smell.

This is no good morning; this morning is hell.

I stumble about – it's so bright I can't see.

My things simply aren't where I know they should be.

I've tripped a few times and I just skinned my knee.

Why must all the furniture bump into me?

Great, dropped my toothbrush. Well, isn't this swell?

What is a good morning? All mornings are hell.

But somehow I plod through it all in a daze

Until I take one little sip from a mug

And like every other day, I'm still amazed

At how this coffee is so much like a hug

The universe sends you to make you feel whole,

To give your day meaning by touching your soul.

Bitter and sweet, maybe just a tad sour,

It fills my senses, it fills me with power

The way I have always trusted that it would,

And suddenly this hellish morning is... good better.

So, if you must say good morning to me,

Make sure it comes with a mug of coffee.

What's in a Name? (Part 1)

Sure, a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. But people really do need to think about the effect a name can have on their kids. Unless you completely lack imagination, every name creates a certain mental image of the person even before you meet him/her, and thinking about how people might react to your name can lead to great anxiety. At least that's what Shel Silverstein, and later Johnny Cash, felt.

Now there are many names that make me visualize other things before I think of the actual person. I've divided the post into (at least) two parts because there are many more pictures I haven't drawn yet. The names chosen are ones in which both the first name and the surname work together to create a comprehensive image.

That's it for now. I've thought of a few more, but let me know if you have any suggestions. And oh, no rapper names. If I start on those, that's all I'll be doing.

Update: Here's Part 2

All I Want Is Something New...

Know those times when you feel like you're just drifting through life trying to find some purpose? I've found it helps a little to try and learn something new, even something seemingly minor, as often as possible. Here are a few new things I learnt recently that helped me not die of boredom.

Ginger Rogers often used to lead while dancing. Backwards. In heels. *Respect*

Train berths have these little flaps where you can tuck your sheet in. Now I know how to keep the sheets from hanging over people sleeping on berths below mine.

The Sherlock fandom exploded online after S3E3, causing Tumblr to shut down temporarily. Seriously.

There's always an off switch. And if you can't find it and are too close to the bomb to get away to safety in time, you could always try yanking out all the wires together like Richard Castle did.

Gold worn below the waist is supposedly inauspicious. No one's given me a logical reason behind it, but that certainly explains the presence of those fugly gold belts. Then again, I suppose they could make useful weapons.

Baths work just as well to keep you awake as they do to ensure peaceful sleep. As does coffee, if you're weird like that.

Indonesia has been invaded by the Japanese and the Dutch in the past. It's prone to just about every natural disaster you can think of and currently has at least nine active volcanoes. It's adorable how my Indonesian friends say things like "my volcano erupted last year" and "what's the current situation with your volcano like?"

In some countries in the Middle East, if you compliment someone on something, apparently their culture dictates that they should give that particular thing to you! Say, sheikh, I absolutely love your house. *smirk*

You can never have too much cheese on/in a pizza. Assuming it's good cheese.

Football can be a scary game. But it's also totally awesome.

Never buy the first guitar you see. Not without checking out a few others, at least.

Learning to play a guitar can hurt not just your fingertips but also your wrist, arms, shoulders, and back. However, it's totally worth it.

You can play plenty of songs with just a few chords.

Leonardo DiCaprio's presence doesn't make a bad movie good. It does make it better than it would otherwise have been, but that's not quite the same.

Lemon juice without sugar can taste much better than lemon juice with sugar. Unless you don't like lemons, in which case it sucks to be you.

Neil Simon, who was also called the King of Broadway, is said to have premiered many of his plays on off-Broadway stages because the latter was just that popular.

A slightly different way of tying shoelaces.

How to move a bike.

Always watch like a hawk to make sure the person serving you an egg puff doesn't heat it in a microwave oven.

What "proclivity" means.

People can make anything taste like... well, just about anything else.

Keep a safe distance from people who hardly need an excuse to set off bombs. By bombs I mean the firecracker type. But yes, you must most definitely stay away from people who set off actual bombs. Didn't mention that before because, well, it goes without saying, doesn't it? Unless you're hanging around to get them to tell you where the off switch is. If they know. Which they should. And if there's a chance that they'll actually tell you. Although... right, this is a highly problematic situation, so let's move on, because if you're in such a mess, your best chance might be to simply trust your instinct rather than try and recall what this blog suggested.

The word "thrice" has become archaic and isn't in use any more, I heard. Which probably means I'm going to use it more than ever before just to overcompensate.

It's possible that washing your hair with just water (without shampoo or any other cleanser) can leave it feeling dirtier after the wash.

The slogan "Make love, not war" originated during the Vietnam war.

Double ka meetha is called what it's called because bread is called "double roti" in Hindi. That's something I learnt soon after posting this, so of course I had to update the post to include it here.

British vs. American

I was reading a friend's blog post http://quillonparchment.blogspot.in/2013/03/load-of-cra-i-mean-tosh.html and typing out a lengthy comment when I realized
1) I don't want to rant too much on someone else's post
2) Even if I do, making a post of it is a better idea. I get to write as much as I want and be credited with getting off my lazy ass (no wait, I'm still sitting) and writing another post.
3) "I always think of a third thing when I'm listing stuff."

For those of you who didn't bother reading that post, it was about... eh, if you didn't bother, I won't bother. And if you're smart, you'll figure it out. Here's what I have to say:

1. Coffee is awesome!
If you're not a coffee drinker and are complaining about it, you don't know what you're talking about. If you are, you know that no matter what grouses you may claim to have with coffee, you'll go running back to it sooner or later (probably sooner). If you're a snob like me, you'll probably look down upon the lesser coffees, but you will never hesitate to appreciate the wonderful impacts of the drink and thank the plants and the goats and everyone associated with making coffee what it is today.

As for the popularity of the drink, coffee has been a staple drink in most of the south for many years while tea has been (and still is) prevalent in the north and north-east.
Secondly, from what I've noticed, good tea is a lot more expensive than good coffee, making it available to fewer people.
Lastly, coffee gives you a better caffeine kick than tea and has a stronger taste, so I suppose lots of people feel like they're getting more.
All this assuming you don't pollute your tea or coffee with milk and sugar and other such nonsense.

However, I haven't seen too many tea chains open up. Bloody Coffee Day (happy, Sanjana?) is taking over our cities. Being someone who also enjoys good tea, I agree, poor chai.

2. I've never actually heard people use "period" instead of "full stop". I've only seen it in jokes. Or when people use an extra word to make a point. *cue laughter* Also, Brit shows and movies today seem way more liberal in their use of "that god awful word that rhymes with 'duck'" than American ones of similar genres.

3. Isn't "maths" much harder to pronounce than "math"?

4. Come on, James Bond has been played by several people. If you don't like a couple of them, it doesn't matter that much because you like the others, so Bond's reputation hasn't suffered too badly. But if you don't like Robert Downey Jr., all he can do is put on his Iron Man suit and hope it makes you like him. Besides, Sean Connery, who was arguably the best Bond ever, has his distinctive Scottish accent (which IS technically Brit, but I think British implied English in that post).

Now I'm not trying to say all things Brit are better than all things American, but here are my problems with the Americans taking over.

1. BBC Entertainment cancelled! On television across the entire country!! Lack of demand, apparently. What a pitiful state of affairs! That channel had the most beautiful wildlife documentaries I've ever seen on television. And Doctor Who. And this:

How cruel one must be to deny people the right to experiencing the sheer brilliance and awesomeness that is Sherlock! How DARE they!

2. Quick, how many British music artists can you name? (I'm talking about pop/rock kind of artists, so if you thought of a bunch of classical musicians, I'm afraid I probably wouldn't know who you were talking about. But you could tell me so that I would know.)
Unless you actually make the effort (or were introduced to them by some happy accident), you probably don't know much about anyone besides Madonna, Adele, The Wanted, and One Direction.
I'm not saying it's your fault; I'm saying we don't get to hear as much of/about them as, say, Taylor Swift. Or any of the dozens of American artists I'm sure you can think of in the next few seconds. Which is wrong.

3. Spelling. Don't get me started.

4. Lonely Planet sold to Americans by Brits! It's Lonely Planet, so it should still be awesome, but I don't find this reassuring at all. The Brits there are probably kicking themselves and singing an awful Akon song right now.

Five Lies

Sometimes people try and make you believe the most bizarre things ever. You know that stuff isn’t true, but they make you think you’re stupid for not believing. And by “they”, I don’t mean advertisements or politicians, but people in general, maybe even ones we go to for good advice.

·         Water has no taste
Something we all learnt in school, right? We did in my school, and in many other places too, I’m sure. Wonder who came up with the idea, and how he/she managed to convince a whole lot of people. All I can say is, they didn’t have very sophisticated palates.
(By the way, “sophisticated palate” has become one of my favourite phrases after I discovered my affinity for mildly flavoured food.)

·         Ab crunches don’t help flatten your stomach
Two out of three times that you look at the fitness section of a magazine or newspaper, you’re sure to see some lines on why ab crunches are completely pointless. Hmph! They’re probably doing it wrong. 

      
Okay, maybe it’s true for some people, but not for everyone. I know I may not seem like a trustworthy source now, but I had great ab muscles way back when I used to do crunches. Also, that was around the time I pretty much lived on ice cream.

·         Coffee is bad for you
Now that’s just a terrible thing to say! People who believe this are usually green tea drinkers who most likely can’t imagine coffee without milk, cream, and sugar. So yeah, I sort of see their point and can’t help feeling sorry for them, because they don’t know what they’re missing.

Also, coffee speeds up metabolism (unless of course you’re dunking cream and sugar into it) and is a good source of antioxidants. Coffee drinkers are apparently less likely to have certain cancers, heart rhythm problems, strokes, type 2 diabetes, Parkinson's disease, and dementia, and a whole lot of other conditions you do not want to have. I certainly don’t need to describe that euphoric feeling it gives you.
So if you’ve never had coffee the way it’s supposed to be drunk, start now.

I don't like Nescafe, but I really like this ad.

By the way, George Washington invented instant coffee. Don’t believe me? Look it up *snigger* No, seriously.

·         Kids are SO cute 
Kids are manipulative, wailing things, and these days, most of them are super spoilt and helpless without TV, laptops, cellphones, and all that jazz. Being small doesn’t necessarily make you delightful.

All right, I must admit I’m biased here. I’ll also admit that I’ve seen some wonderful kids who’ve rather surprised me (by making me love them so much) but I don’t love kids as a rule.

·         Cockroaches are harmless 
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! You couldn't be more wrong. They're creepy, some of them fly and stink, and I've even been bitten by one. Most scary thing of all: they're practically invincible. Something like this:

They don't care. They know they'll survive.

Bottomline: coffee - gorgeous, cockroaches - gross, and kids - well, who knows?

Coffee and Crappy Cafés

Until a few years ago, fancy coffee shops in this city were places of magic. I'd see the lovely lighting, the bright colours and the comfy looking chairs, and think while passing by, "I have to go there some day". Going to a cafe was a special treat, and it only happened once in a blue moon.

I'd look at the menu and marvel at the wide range of things to choose from. After reading through the menu carefully, I'd choose something with lots of (then fascinating) fluff like ice cream, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, sprinkles, etc. Ice was a bonus. The more ice a coffee drink had, the happier I would be.

Then I woke up.

When you're little, being allowed to drink even a small amount of coffee is a privilege. What the fancy cafes do is take that little spoon of coffee, dunk it into watery milk where it gets completely lost but manages to remind you of its existence through a hint of brown, and maybe throw in some ice and trimmings, depending on what you want. For a novice coffee drinker, this is great: so much coffee plus other stuff.

But (hopefully) you soon grow out of that stage. These days, when I go to coffee shops, the only thing I order is espresso (though I still can't help reading the whole menu before ordering) because one can't go wrong with plain coffee decoction, right?
Wrong.
Thankfully, this doesn't happen as often as it used to, but I still have such conversations with waiters:
"One espresso please"
"Expresso??"
"Er... yes."
"It's black!"
"I know."
"No milk and sugar."
"I know!!!!"
*Waiter gives me a strange look and walks off*

So of course my coffee has to arrive after everyone else is almost halfway through those sweet milky concoctions (so it's obviously not expresso). My coffee shows up... or does it?

My coffee cup is already small, yet I need to peer into it to find some watery liquid floating at the bottom. How is that fair? Do I even need to mention that it's not espresso but its weaker sibling instead?

Since I'm already on the subject, here's another thing about coffee shops that annoy me: the microwaving. Now I don't care what people say about harmful radiation and everything, but I do care about ordering a chocolatey cake and getting this:

Yes, it has actually happened to me. Shame!

For me, most coffee shops have simply turned into convenient meeting spots, or places where one can aimlessly hang around if one has nothing better to do. One good thing is that many of these places now have free WiFi, so if they're cheating you on the coffee, exploit their bandwidth as much as you can! If they take too long to bring you your order, just make sure you download lots of stuff while waiting (and until you leave).

Someday I shall open an awesome cafe (nah, I won't, but I like thinking I will) where one can get actual espresso and fresh non-soggy food at reasonable prices, and where the coffees with milk and other unnecessary things will be so good that even I will like them. Maybe. Either way, I'm happy I saw some sense and went back to black (coffee, I mean).

Every New Beginning Is Some Beginning's End

No more sleeping in until 10:30 in the morning. No more going back to bed after realizing that for a holiday, you’re up shamefully early. No more rummaging through the fridge and eating at odd times. No more chatting with friends for hours. No more spending all day listening to music and lounging around in nightclothes doing practically nothing.

I start work today, in a few hours, and I’m as nervous as could be. Why else would I wake up at this unearthly hour? I can stay up this late without too much trouble, but I am NOT a morning person. Never been this jittery except on the days we had basketball matches in middle school and high school. (Yes, I used to play basketball, and for someone of my height and general level of laziness I was quite good.)

It’s not so different, come to think of it – wake up early in the morning, pace up and down, do some warm-ups in an attempt to calm down, and prove yourself by putting on the best show that you can. Except that now I get to drink coffee instead of/ in addition to milk. And of course, I won’t be running around the office in bicycle shorts.

See? Not cool.

I’d rather not sleep another hour now because I have so much to worry about – what if I wake up late on the first day? How do I handle the possibility of a smelly person sitting next to me on the bus? What happens if I get to the office too early? What if I leave behind something important at home? Do employees get good coffee? Will the lunch break be long enough for me to quickly get some coffee from Gloria Jean’s? How many times a month can I buy coffee from there without going almost broke? What if they moved? (Hey Gloria Jean’s, do I get some coffee on the house in return for the free advertising?)

I know, I know, I write about coffee way too much. It threw me off track. What was I talking about? Ah yes, I was listing out deep, pensive questions that pave the way to finding a quick solution, should the problem arise. It’s a little distressing, dreading all the things that could go wrong. Excuse me while I think of something to cheer myself up a little. Maybe I’ll watch the last few minutes of Surf’s Up.

I’m back. (Why am I pretending this is a live chat? Maybe it’s because I’ve personified this window, so it’s like a dramatic monologue to a patient – if passive – audience.) Anyway, I have to mention how watching the last ten minutes of Surf’s Up before the credits roll – from the beginning of the contest to the beautiful final scene that ends with the awesome song – actually calmed me down. I recommend it to anyone with the jitters, because hey, how can you not be happy when you have cool penguins, an exciting surfing contest, brilliant animation, comic relief, an awesome funky chicken, that New Radicals song, and a perfectly splendid happy ending?

Now that I feel a little better, I’m thinking: They chose me through legitimate selection, so I shouldn’t be worried sick. My only real worry is that I may get thrown out due to the non-surfacing of blinding awesomeness, but I’ll try and make sure that doesn’t happen. I’m good as long as I make it through the probation period, do at least equally well after, and don’t (either during or after this stage) act delinquent.

Here’s to the beginning of my life as a working woman! (Ew, that makes me sound old.) Wish me luck!

Unofficial Headache Remedies

Headaches can be horrible, and some things can make them worse. For example, you do NOT want to do any of these:

Stare at a computer screen

Your brain gets fried, and so does your computer, for no good reason.

Study

Yeah... just forget it.


Sleep

Unless you're someone with the wonderful ability to fall asleep despite a splitting headache, you're probably just going to end up thinking random thoughts and worrying about how much your head hurts, and ultimately you'll get annoyed with the world because you can't sleep and will hate your warm snuggly bed.

Listen to the wrong kinds of music

I generally like Linkin Park. I'm just saying it's the wrong kind of music to listen to when you have a headache.

Here's another example:

I only put this in because to me, Akon is ALWAYS the wrong kind of, ahem, music. *smirk*

Right, all that being said, here are some things that I've found to be quite useful in curing headaches:

Drink (water - lots of it)

 If that doesn't work, drink coffee

That didn't work? Drink some more (still talking about coffee)

Did that work? Either way, you'll have to drink more water now so you don't get dehydrated, because if you do, your headache will only get worse

Oil your head

Actually, get someone else to do it for you. It makes your head feel nice and cool. Usually the smellier the oil, the more it helps with the pain, but olive oil does it well enough too.

Sit (and consequently shit)

Sometimes it really does help. (I wonder how many people will look at this and go "gross" and how many people will be disappointed that I didn't draw someone sitting on the potty)

Last Resort

When all else fails, you could try bumping your head against the wall (or any other hard surface). The external pain should be strong enough to make the internal pain seem insignificant. Ta-DA!

Or, you know, you could always use burning balm (it's actually pretty awesome. Don't know why I didn't have a separate picture). Or you could just take a pill, but that's so uninteresting and mundane.