Fear Itself

Fear rules us all. It controls our lives. Sometimes it's in big, significant ways but more often, it's in the little routines and habits we've internalized to a point where we don't even realize how scared we are. Fear of being caught for doing something, fear of the consequences of not doing something, fears based on variables you can control... and those you can't.

People may say it's all in the mind, but it can also take on tangible forms. (I mean actual things, not the messed up stuff you see in horror movies). And what's the scariest and most omnipotent of them all? 

If you're thinking spiders, you're wrong (unless you have arachnophobia, in which case I totally empathize because I'm on a similar track). 

It's cockroaches. Particularly flying cockroaches.

The ones that can't fly are not terrifying to me any more. Over the years, I've learnt to suck it up and smack the damn hellspawn with a shoe. But if they can fly, that's a completely different story. It's a horrifying nightmare straight out of hell. Nay, more like pure hell itself. Here's a comparison to show just how bad it is:

Just like some people don't cry when they're sad because they think it makes them look weak, I try to be as brave as possible when faced by a flying cockroach. I may not scream (too loudly) when I see one. This is mostly because I'm worried that people will call me a baby. And that I'll then hit them for teasing me about a very real fear (but not before they've killed the cockroach for me, obviously).

P.S. I may or may not believe everything in the Bible, but I totally blame Noah for this.  

Five Lies

Sometimes people try and make you believe the most bizarre things ever. You know that stuff isn’t true, but they make you think you’re stupid for not believing. And by “they”, I don’t mean advertisements or politicians, but people in general, maybe even ones we go to for good advice.

·         Water has no taste
Something we all learnt in school, right? We did in my school, and in many other places too, I’m sure. Wonder who came up with the idea, and how he/she managed to convince a whole lot of people. All I can say is, they didn’t have very sophisticated palates.
(By the way, “sophisticated palate” has become one of my favourite phrases after I discovered my affinity for mildly flavoured food.)

·         Ab crunches don’t help flatten your stomach
Two out of three times that you look at the fitness section of a magazine or newspaper, you’re sure to see some lines on why ab crunches are completely pointless. Hmph! They’re probably doing it wrong. 

      
Okay, maybe it’s true for some people, but not for everyone. I know I may not seem like a trustworthy source now, but I had great ab muscles way back when I used to do crunches. Also, that was around the time I pretty much lived on ice cream.

·         Coffee is bad for you
Now that’s just a terrible thing to say! People who believe this are usually green tea drinkers who most likely can’t imagine coffee without milk, cream, and sugar. So yeah, I sort of see their point and can’t help feeling sorry for them, because they don’t know what they’re missing.

Also, coffee speeds up metabolism (unless of course you’re dunking cream and sugar into it) and is a good source of antioxidants. Coffee drinkers are apparently less likely to have certain cancers, heart rhythm problems, strokes, type 2 diabetes, Parkinson's disease, and dementia, and a whole lot of other conditions you do not want to have. I certainly don’t need to describe that euphoric feeling it gives you.
So if you’ve never had coffee the way it’s supposed to be drunk, start now.

I don't like Nescafe, but I really like this ad.

By the way, George Washington invented instant coffee. Don’t believe me? Look it up *snigger* No, seriously.

·         Kids are SO cute 
Kids are manipulative, wailing things, and these days, most of them are super spoilt and helpless without TV, laptops, cellphones, and all that jazz. Being small doesn’t necessarily make you delightful.

All right, I must admit I’m biased here. I’ll also admit that I’ve seen some wonderful kids who’ve rather surprised me (by making me love them so much) but I don’t love kids as a rule.

·         Cockroaches are harmless 
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! You couldn't be more wrong. They're creepy, some of them fly and stink, and I've even been bitten by one. Most scary thing of all: they're practically invincible. Something like this:

They don't care. They know they'll survive.

Bottomline: coffee - gorgeous, cockroaches - gross, and kids - well, who knows?

My Actual Sunday Post

Originally published on: 13/03/2011

I decided to put up a real post after all, and it’s up before Sunday is over. Yay me :)
Whenever I think of the story of Noah’s Ark, there are three things I wish he had done differently:

3. Sent out all the birds together
In my imagination, this is what happened:

A few days later, the dove is sent out again.

And again.

I would have drawn the raven too, but I have absolutely no idea what happened to it. Unfortunately, I’m not sure most other people know either

2. Waited for the unicorns

Yeah, unicorns are so wonderful! (I wonder why they’re called unicorns. They should be called unihorns. That would make much more sense)

I’d have liked to end my post with those beautiful creatures, but there’s one thing that I consider even more important than saving the unicorns: destroying the cockroaches!

1. Squished those two cockroaches
(I didn't draw what comes next because it involves pieces of those insects smashed and lying around in a mess. Also, it says “spawn of the devil” up there. I don’t think it’s very clear in the drawing)

Imagine a world with no cockroaches. In just one second, Noah would have saved the whole world a lot of trouble through the ages. And we'd have unicorns instead.