Why We Need To Stop Buying Souvenirs - Giver’s POV

So you're on holiday and you want to pick up a few things for your folks back home. If you want to, that's perfectly fine, but it’s not something you have to do. Here's why:

- People are not entitled to presents because you went travelling. 

Especially those who don’t even tell you what they want but still expect something, because then you're saddled with the additional task of magically guessing what they might want.

(Also, unless you're a little kid or someone I'm very close to, it's not cool to ask me what I've brought for you. In fact, being greeted with that question makes me want to give your gift away to someone else.)

- The actual process of buying souvenirs is a headache

So, you see a souvenir store and decide on buying everything in one place. Should make things easy, right? Ha ha, you wish. Here are a few of the multiple muddling questions you'll have to consider:

• What kind of gift do you buy? 
• Something useful? 
• Something nice-looking? 
• Something thoughtful? 
• Something unique? 
• How much money are you willing to spend?
• Should you bargain?
• Whom do you buy for?
• People you like the most?
• People who will appreciate your gift? 
• People you interact with a lot? 
• People who give you lots of things? 
• People who will sulk if you don’t bring them something?
• How much space and weight allowance do you have?

Even after all this careful consideration, it's possible you might leave out someone you really wanted to buy something for.

Where does it end? (Rhetorical question. It doesn't.) In the spirit of keeping it simple, I suggest you don’t even start.

- You’re there to enjoy your holiday

Yes, it's too bad your friend couldn't join you on your holiday. Yes, it helps that you know exactly what they'll like from [place you're going to]. This doesn't mean you should feel compelled to go out of your way to buy it, even if it has been specifically requested.

Sure, you’d love to make someone happy by bringing them what they want, but it shouldn't be at the cost of your peace of mind. By all means, ask where one gets [requested object] and look for it wherever you go, but don't plan a trip to someplace miles away or to a shady neighbourhood just to obtain it.

If you completely forget or simply don’t want to bother, that’s fine too. If s/he if a true friend, s/he will understand. You've most likely spent a lot of time, effort, and money on your holiday. You deserve to enjoy it.

Receiving souvenirs can also be messy business, but that is a matter for another post.  

On Books

I've always loved reading, and I've always been happy to share my books with others. But borrowing from me comes with a set of rules:

I've been this way since I was about ten (if not younger). No, I'm not kidding. Yes, I was serious about the sanctity of paperback spines even as a kid. It happened after I looked closely at an uncle's bookshelf and noticed that the books were in mint condition even though he'd read them all.

Now there are some people who have this idea that "books should look like they've been read/ used". On the surface, this seems fine to me, since a book I've picked up looks the same after I've read it. I mean, all these books look read to me:

Needed an excuse to put up a photo of the loveliest library I've ever been in.

But what these monsters mean is that books need to look like they've been mutilated and have gone through some kind of hell. What a ridiculous notion!

One of the best things about Jess from Gilmore Girls (besides the fact that he's played by Milo Ventimiglia) is that he reads. Unfortunately, he seems to be on Team "Used"Books. He rolls up books to carry in his pocket. He creases the spines. He even writes in other people's books.

Come on, that's not how you're supposed to hold a book!!

Get a notebook! I didn't even make notes in my nicer textbooks in school. Sure, I drew all over my Little Miss Plump, but I was a wee kid and any blank space was a canvas.

I wonder if this ridiculous notion applies to other things they use. I always get a few kicks out of imagining these people mishandling their preciousss cellphones.

Does this look used enough? Why don't you chip the edges a little more and throw it into a bucket of water so it looks more used?

Please handle books with some respect, people. Don't scribble, tear, stretch, fold, add saliva, and so on. And please, PLEASE don't do this:

You don't even need a bookmark; just use any smallish object with a flat surface, like a cellphone.

You can have your book (in a decent state) and read it too. It's really not that hard.

Stronger = Better

This always makes me laugh.

Over the years, the general level of animosity towards espresso seems to have greatly diminished. It's still very much present, but I don't have these (previously very common) exchanges in cafes any more:

I've really downplayed the average conversation length and waiter's confusion.

And after all that, this is how it was served:

I always drank the milk separately. I mean, you may not want it in your coffee, but if they're giving you milk, you might as well drink it.

Maybe one of the reasons I don't have to deal with all that now is because I don't order coffee at a cafe/restaurant any more. I just buy ground beans and make it at home, as strong as I like. None of that milk, sugar, and whipped cream nonsense.

Why I love Gilmore Girls Reason #2: They really get coffee.

Contrary to what some of my friends may think, there's more than just one reason why I love GG.

They seem to be making something close enough in coffee shops. One of my friends showed me this new coffee that sounds delicious and apparently isn't sold in a large cup because it's so strong. Look!

Now I do know a couple of people who make good strong coffee, but I've come to accept that when most people say "strong", it's usually what I'd categorize as weaker than average.
So when I have coffee made by someone else, it's pretty awkward when they ask me how it is. Sometimes I get away with a cheerful "it's coffee!" and a huge smile (before gulping it down so I don't have to suffer through it too long). But there are some who just have to keep asking.

*People must either think I'm bluffing or not understand how strong decoction can be

Then I watch their eyes grow wider in horror as I keep saying "maybe just a little more" until I stop because I don't want them to have a heart attack. And of course my coffee is still only almost-average strength.

Here's a relatively recent instance when I was particularly frustrated but couldn't say anything because this lady was so sweet:

She then added the decoction with a tiny coffee spoon, so after a few spoons, I had to say

when what I really wanted to say was:

And lastly, here are some words of wisdom from a 7-year-old student of mine: "If you drink coffee, then your brain goes mad". She's not entirely wrong.

Tea is for calm. Coffee is for crazy.

P.S. - Why I love Gilmore Girls: Reason #1, in case you're wondering:

"Really? You seriously thought you could write about Gilmore Girls without mentioning me?"

"I dare you to try again."

Fine, whatever. Milo Ventimiglia is awesome. I've not even watched any of the GG episodes he isn't in. And yes, he's a lot older now and looks different, but he's still hot. In fact, I'm about to go watch him on Ellen's show in a few minutes, so bye!