Where Was I?

Hello there!
Wow, it's been a while since my last post. Guess I took the procrastination really seriously. But that's not the only thing; I've been distracted by other stuff. Couldn't put up anything last Sunday because I went on a trip to a place where I didn't have access to the internet and didn't miss it one bit.  
The bigger distraction, however, is the new television set and the hundreds of channels. I try not to talk about it too much.

I've suddenly realized how much I miss college. I love work, but I really miss college. I actually went three times this week and talked to random juniors and other people I've never seen before. There are so many great things about going back after you've graduated, especially when people remember you and look happy to see you. Teachers treat you like old pals they're meeting after years, and students who don't even know you seem to treat you with utmost respect.
You can also wave your phone around and not care about it getting confiscated. Oh wait, I don't think we ever bothered to be discreet about our cellphones. But you know what I mean, right? You can walk around the campus when everyone else is in class.

There are those few awkward moments, though. I keep introducing myself to several juniors I don't remember having seen before, and when they say they know me, it surprises me so much that I can't help blurting out, "Really? I've never seen you before. (Oh damn, why did I have to say that?)" People remember you. Even when you don’t remember them. Then again, since you're the senior, you can get away with it.

It's also a little saddening when you see strangers in your classrooms and realize you can’t just walk into class and take a nap.

The most awkward thing of all is when people ask you what you do and you blank out for a moment because you're about to say "I'm in college", and then realize that's not true any more.

You can expect a nostalgic post about college some time soon, but this is it for now. The TV is distracting me. 

Dragodile Dreaming

Last night I had a bizarre dream, which was cool because I've been having some "normal" dreams lately (with things that could actually happen in real life), and where's the fun in that?

It was just another peaceful day in college. Some people felt mild tremors in the ground, but nothing extraordinary happened.
Until this guy showed up. Ladies and gentlemen, behold the rare, exotic dragodile!

There was a sudden mad scramble as people all over campus ran into the nearest classrooms and locked all the doors and windows.

It was now up to the three musketeers to save the day, or at least try. Drum roll please!

Here we are. If you don't like how you look, YOU try drawing your face on Paint (without a graphic tablet) and I'm sure it'll look like my drawing of me here. 

The terrace of the main building was, for some reason, considered the safest place to hide from the Dragodile. So of course that's where it went and promptly parked itself. The three of us rushed to the rescue, and found the little room in the terrace occupied by kids. The G-Ra shooed them out.

 What were such little kids doing in our college anyway?

And then we set out to take on (or keep off) the beast.

Chit very happily obliged.

Me wussing out.

I stepped out of the bathroom to find that all doors had been closed. I was one person locked out in the corridor, and I was sure to get eaten.

After being alone in terror for what seemed like hours, I slowly peeped out of a window, and saw this:

Dragodile was still on the terrace, but was now sleeping peacefully. Our principal had just put up that sign, and a few moments later, she announced through the public address system that the danger had passed, and that everyone was to get back to work immediately.

Entrance Exam Blunders - Part II

I don't even want to start on the grammar part, so I'm going directly to the essays about reactions to the death of Osama Bin Laden. They're not all huge blunders, but they're quite funny. Here are a few of the responses we got: 

"Osama Bin Laden!!! Wow!!! great topic!! Ok.... all I know is..."

"Osama bin laden is one of the most famous terrorist who is known for the 9/11 crash or the world trade centre crash."

"The way the 7 wonders of the world are famous in universe, in the same way Osama Bin laden was famous for terror."

"I honestly care a damn for him."

"He is one of the major antisocial element of all times." 

"The President of USA Obama, has given the information that Osama is a terrorist he killed many lives if he is still alive he may kill people around the world."

"He used to hide from everyone as he was scared from the death."

"It looked, as though, he would survive for 100 more years."

"OSAMA-BIN-LADEN was shot dead wright in the head, the very fact gave and set in new spirite of joy and happyness among us."

"Looking at the response of the people all over the world i had goose bums." (Hee hee!)

"Should I rejoice or have my head banging with several questions like How? When? What?"

"I honestly was neither happy nor sad, because when Osama was at his hide out, I was least bothered out to google him out. But you never know, just like Sadam Hussain had 8 replicas, and Osama is far more shrewd then Sadam. I wonder how many he would have! LOL!"

"When I got this news I was very happy as Osama is killed by the Americans as he had only destroyed the World Trade Center in Year 1999."

"Its kind of terrible feeling we get when we hear such news. But then terrorism is increasing, and hopefully now after Osama's death it gets decreased."

"I am very delightful and feels save that the most wanted criminal is dead."

"I felt satisfied at my sole because many souls were rest to peace. The one who does evil, evil comes to him."

"Come to think of the several innocent lives for no particular reason he's plotted against, the number of ambitious souls he's made blinded to the future, and the number of innocent infants he's made orphans out of."

"But however, although the criminals who assisinated him soon agreed volunteerly about the murder Obama openly proclaimed that the murder was committed according to his order."

"The chaser seem very happy and pleased As the Encounter if i can say has Rest in Peace. This constant news update makes me wonder what is it that buzzing in Bush's mind happy to be untouched and unblamed or unhappy so to loose one of his products."

"I believe in 'The Almighty'. He sees and knows everything. I know and am sure, God will punish him one fine day and so he did."

"God is there. No to worries. Enjoy life in all its myriad colours."

"In my place, the mother's always tell there babies while feeding them that "Osama will Come" and the kids used to eat fast. But now I think none of the mothers will say "Osama will Come" ever again."

"The earth now is cleansed. The avenge has been taken. Osama Bin laden has tasted his own medecine this death has taught me so many things. Things like, you know: Do good, you'll get the good. Do bad, you'll get it back again."

"It was height time Osama saw Hell, for all the innocent lives he has taken away. R.I.P. Osama Bin Landen."

Besides all that, many people don't seem to know what "write in verse" means. Then there was another section where people had to identify the movie each famous dialogue belonged to. You'd think people would do well there, right? Well, you're sadly mistaken. An awful lot of people don't seem to know of any movies besides Twilight, P.S. I Love You, and A Walk To Remember. 

One thing that stood out was how several seemed to think "I'll be back" is from Titanic. Imagine this from a drowning guy:

Creepy, huh? 

Well, at least it's not from a movie about OBL!

Entrance Exam Blunders - Part I

How dull life would be if we didn't have things (and people?) to laugh at! Take for instance an entrance exam. I'm sure people who correct papers have a tough job, but I bet it's fun when you have some atrocious answers.

Woke up this morning earlier than usual (for a holiday) and dragged myself out of bed, ignoring that nagging urge to just stay there. Sure, sleep is wonderful, but what's even better is going to college and terrorizing juniors by pretending to be mean, controlling, and bitchy. 

Well, that was the plan. All I actually did was hang around and eat pizza (which took less effort and was probably more fun anyway). And of course, laugh at the answer sheets, write wacky comments and draw emoticons all over them. 

I could have taken pictures of everything and put them up, but I'm nice. So, here are some gems (the ones I remember):

President of India - Pradipa Patel

(There was also a Pranab or Pramod Patel)

Current ruling party in the USA - Republicans (BracObama's administration)

(Yes, I'm sure "BracObama" is a Republican) 

City where Osama bin Laden was found and killed 

(Got all kinds of answers for this, including one somewhere in the US. One person scratched out "city", replaced it with "country" and said Pakistan. Not a bad move, but not nearly good enough) 

Greenpeace - vegetable 

(So some people really don't know the difference between peace and peas?)

BT brinjal - vegetable 

(Oh, really? I had no idea! Thanks for enlightening me)

I was also surprised at the number of people who think Pulitzer is a fertilizer. And:

Bajrang Dal - pulse
(Did she mean pulse of the people of that group or some strange thing like that? Oh, wait... DAL - pulse. God help us!) 

Author of Pride and Prejudice - Rabindranath Tagore, Mahatma Gandhi, Anita (different people's answers)

(Yeah... no! And who on earth is Anita?)

Author of The God of Small Things - Ryan

(Ryan who? Oh, THAT guy! Yeah, I totally know who you're talking about)

Author of The Discovery of India - Shobha De

(*sigh* Nothing left to say)

In which of Shakespeare's plays would you find Shylock? - Sherlock Holmes

(What, you didn't know Shakespeare wrote a series of Sherlock Holmes plays in which the lead character was named Shylock?)

Who was the creator of Snoopy? - An American

(Come on...)

One of the contenders for Most Disgusting Answer:

An Indian who has won the Nobel Prize for literature - Chetan Bhagat 

(*mixture of hysterical laughter and banging head on wall while being worried and disturbed about the future of this country*)

More coming up soon.

Inspired by my classmates...

Originally published on: 08/04/2011

She slowly grew thinner and thinner

Because she would never eat dinner

Being the skinniest

She won some lame contest

Where skeletons crowned her the winner.

All the college students rolled

In laughter at her words of gold

Wondering why she

Talked like a baby

And found she was just ten years old

Throughout the world, people would stare

At her lovely poker straight hair

But one day they caught her

And poured on it water

Her curls gave them a massive scare

She spoke with utmost wit and candour

Never did her thoughts meander

But the sad part

Is she was so smart

That no one else could understand her

A friendly informative tower

Who discreetly wields immense power,

She tells funny stories

And makes you feel at ease

But can silence all with her glower

The girl was a bit of a g(l)eek

And a highly organized freak

Always under stress

To make more progress,

Her teenage bones began to creak

Coffee, she says with a wink,

Is a very powerful drink

It makes you go wild

And scream like a child

But heightens your power to think

Her words like most deadly bees stung

Though each witty insult she flung

Was comic and clever.

They knew they would never

Need cutting tools besides her tongue.