Slam Books

Originally published on: 17/03/2011

When we were in high school, we had those books we’d hand out to the classmates to fill in towards the end of the year. Not the yearbooks, but the ones which gave you hardly enough space to squeeze in what you wanted to write. They served mainly as a status symbol for the owner to flaunt and compare with other slam books – “Look, mine is so big and colourful”, “More people have written in my book than in yours” and that type of pointless gushing. A plain notebook just wasn’t nearly as cool.

It wasn’t even like you got to write about anything you wanted because the book told you what to put in, which was mostly useless stuff like Favourite Flower, Favourite Colour, etc. Some even asked you for things like Most Embarrassing Moment or Deepest Darkest Secret.

I was fine with all of it because at that age, I used to love writing in slam books and would always fill them in with the utmost care. However, there was that one dreaded question which would invariably appear everywhere: different variations of Your Thoughts On Me, which, if I remember right, I would mostly answer by talking about how there wasn’t enough space provided to write about how awesome that person was. Then I would say something like “Have a wonderful life ahead” and draw hearts and put a huge signature to fill up the empty space.

Now I think of those books, and while I like how some of them are so bright and colourful, most of the time I wonder why people don’t just get themselves a pretty notebook without those annoying pointers. It gives you freedom and isn’t really hard to fill in once you begin. I wrote in a blank book today, and it felt good!

I’ll never grow out of the hearts-and-signature ending, though.

My Great Big Cock Fight

Originally published on: 27/02/2011

Before you start getting any dirty ideas, let me point out that I am referring to a rooster. Nothing else. My Great Big Rooster Fight sounds lame, okay? If you’re reading my blog, you can deal with my bad titles.

I felt that I ought to have a non-judgemental post, so here it is. I’ve tried.

This happened shortly before my second birthday. I hardly remember the incident, but I’ve heard about it several times from the parents and I have strong faith in my imagination, so I consider it an important landmark in my life.

My grandparents’ house was filled with people doing their own thing. At one point my grandma heard a cry from the street outside and asked my mother if it was me, but mom was sure that I was inside the house.

A few moments later, the doorbell rang and there stood the watchman from the neighbouring house with a little kid in tow.

(Yes, I often looked like a boy when I was little. Fortunately that has changed. (I also used to be really cute. Unfortunately that has changed too)

The man told my mom that I got into a fight with the neighbours’ rooster, after which I was taken into the house.

Mom: Where else did you hurt yourself ?

Me: Nowhere.

Then out came my story

(Yeah, I was smaller and less suspicious, and therefore the victim)

That was one of the biggest adventures I have ever had. It also gives me an interesting story about my childhood. I pity all the people who only did mundane things like eating mud. (I feel even worse for kids these days. They’ll probably tell stories like “How I Got *ridiculously high score* on *popular video game*”)

However, I would strongly advise everyone to never mess with a bird.

P.S. – In one scene from the finale of Modern Family Season 1, Cameron says to Mitchell, “One time a rooster attacked me and my mum wrung its neck and we had it for dinner”. I’m rather glad to report that no such thing happened with my rooster.