A Brand New Day

A few days ago, it suddenly struck me: I don't care about the new year. Never have, and the more I consider it, the more sure I am that I never will. It's easy to think you care when you have hundreds of places telling you how awesome new year's eve is going to be, or when people are asking what you plan to do or, if you're unfortunate enough to be that age, what your new year resolution is.

Truth is, the only change is a number on the calendar, and that shouldn't fluster you at all unless you're in school and have teachers who force you to write the full date on every used page of your notebook. Sure, some people use the new year as an excuse to party, but who's stopping us from doing that on any other day? Who says we can't have fun without donating an organ to pay for a party filled with strange people on a day when we don't have to study or work within the next 24 hours? (If you do get a day off, you're among the lucky ones.)

Now, Earth is way older than any of us can imagine being (unless Doctor Who is amongst us reading this, in which case I'm more than happy to eat my words), so who on earth decided that January 1st is its birthday? I'm not sure Earth herself keeps track or even appreciates us making a big deal of it. If anything, Mamma E probably wants some peace and quiet rather than people setting off fireworks in her atmosphere.

But if I had to say one positive thing about the new year hype, it's that it can't be all bad if it resulted in this:

Lea Michele makes every other version of this song sound like the musical equivalent of dinosaur poop.

As for the whole forget-about-or-be-thankful-for-the-past-and-move-on thing, we need to do that all the time. Every day is the beginning of a new year, and there's no reason for us to treat only one particular day with so much unwarranted attention.
In keeping with that spirit, here's another great song. If you watch Lie To Me and have heard it already, well, listen again!

So if you wish me, I shall be civil and thank you graciously, but if you want me to wish you a happy new year (though you don't really care that much either, do you?) wait until your birthday. Until then, good day to you.

Presents?

It's that time of the year again when almost everyone is anticipating presents. And I can't think of presents without thinking of this scene from 30 Rock:

For those of you who didn't want to wait for a video to load (although that's a short clip totally worth watching) this is basically it:

Dotcom:    Hey Trey, we just picked up your birthday party invitations from the printer.
Tracy:        Wait, What is this? "Give to charity please. No presents."?
Dotcom:    Yeah, that's what you told me to put on the card.
Tracy:        No Dotcom, I said "give to charity? Please, no! PRESENTS!"

Haven't you wondered why people talk about the two things like it's an either/or situation? You have people who spend absurd amounts of money on things they don't need (although anything must seem practical after the gifts baby Jesus was given) and others who act like they're sacrificing everything by buying stuff for less fortunate people instead of for themselves.
However, cynical optimist that I am, I like to think it's because awesome people don't talk a lot about their presents or how much they're doing for society, or both.

Christmas to me usually means music and food and family. The whole wrapped presents under the tree affair doesn't excite me much, partly because we don't have a tree and partly because I like to get presents when I need them. We're not a family that gets new clothes and stuff just because it happens to be festival time or someone's birthday. Besides, I have very specific and limited wants that no one seems to get. Presents never happen.

Okay, that's not true; we get presents when we get presents, and the more unexpected the timing, the better. I was simply thinking of one of my favourite lines from James Valentine's Jumpman series. It's been several years since I read it, so these may not be the exact words, but it went something like this:
The past is gone, the future is unknown, and the present never happens.

This character in the book explains how, for example, when you consider the idea of the present being now, by the time you've said or thought "now", it's already in the past. Like you're reading this now. It's already happened. Mind-blowing, come to think of it.

So, Christmas is upon us and I shall enjoy it. Doesn't matter that I won't get a present. Not presently, at least. Or now. Or now. Well, you get the idea.
Have an extraordinary merry Christmas!

Makes Me Wonder

There are certain things about this world that should probably not confuse me so much, but they do. For instance . . .

Car racing

At some point, mankind decided we aren't messed up enough already, so we should build some fancy cars that'll guzzle tons of petrol but which people will never drive on roads or do anything useful with.

Douchebags.

Ryan Gosling

I just don't get it. Sure, he's not bad looking and he's not a bad actor, but there is nothing about him that justifies the hordes of starry-eyed girls who start squealing at the very mention of his name. 

This is where I'd put up a picture of him 

to explain my indifference 

if I liked or hated him enough 

to have a picture of him on my blog. 

Justin Bieber

What up with all the hate? He sounds better than the other famous kids who sing these days, he's a decent dancer, he produces some of his music (I think), and he's adorable. Okay, not so adorable any more. Still, he has some pretty good songs. Disliking him is understandable, but to hate him enough to devote so much time and energy into channelling that hate is a little abnormal. Come on, if you don't like him, ignore him. No one's forcing him on you.

Ambidextrous confusion

It's befuddling how most people are wired. If you can do something with one hand, it's only logical that you should be able to do it just as well with the other hand. I'm sure science has explanations, but it seems wrong to not be ambidextrous when we have bilaterally symmetrical bodies. I mean, have you ever heard anyone ask which foot you use more? We're SUPPOSED to be able to use both hands equally well.

Another thing I don't understand is people who make me have conversations like this:

All right, I haven’t thought of shunning the non-believers before.

Anyway, I've realized conversations like this are easier:

Other people: Oh, you're a leftie?

Me: Yes.

Other people, later: Hey, you're using your right hand!

Me: Yes.

Other people: So which do you use more while writing?

Me, ever so sweetly: Whichever I want.

It’s not that I don’t use a certain hand more often than the other to do some things; it’s just annoying when people try to label you as left-handed or right-handed, especially when they seem to ardently believe that how you write is the only thing that matters.

Why do people care so much about writing anyway? First off, most people hardly write by hand any more thanks to computers and phones and the like. Secondly, when did writing become the most important thing we do? Why don't people ask about things we all do every day, like which hand you eat with or brush your teeth with or wash your butt with after pooping? Fine, I know why people might avoid that last one, but you get the point, yes?

People who don't like rain and/or chocolate

Rain is beautiful. Rain is inspiring. Rain makes everything brighter and cleaner. Rain (usually) gives some relief from blinding sunlight and makes the weather perfect for junk food, coffee, hot chocolate . . .

I don't get why people would not like chocolate. To not like some kinds of chocolate is fine. To not like ANY sort of chocolate? Disturbing.

Why feet are shunned

So you’re sitting on the floor and your feet happen to point towards someone. The first person to notice will try to catch your attention and make you change your sitting position in as discreet a manner as possible. If this doesn’t work, said person will proceed to get anxious because if more people notice your blasphemous feet, you’re disrespectful and there’s going to be hell to pay.

Now unless your feet are really dirty, there's no good reason why it should bother anyone. What's all the fuss about? Are you going to accuse the feet for not being more flexible or altogether invisible? Like they don't do enough for us already! Feet really are taken for granted and not appreciated nearly as much as they should be. Be nice to your feet, people!

Why guys wear so much deodorant

I wonder which came first, the advertisements with guys who wear too much deo or the actual guys who wear too much deo. It's perfectly understandable why selfish deo companies have ads like that, but are guys stupid enough to fall for that or are brands tapping into some unknown-to-others system in guys that makes them use a can as a single helping?

Either way, the stench has terrible effects on normal people's olfactory senses. And oh, it does NOT make you attractive. At all.

Mobile phone sizes

When we went from landlines to cordless phones to cellphones, I naturally assumed phones were getting smaller so they were more, you know, mobile.

But then at some point, there was this conspiracy I was completely unaware of and suddenly things started going the other way around. Mobile phones went from something you could easily operate with one hand to something you needed two hands to hold carefully to something you could no longer carry in your pockets unless you got yourself a magician's coat. And I still can't help but snigger silently when I see something like this:

Sure, I’ve never heard anyone actually say that, but it looks awfully inconvenient.

Music

Not so much confusing as incredibly amazing. Seven notes is basically all we have, and there are millions of songs and so many different genres it's mind blowing. It's nothing short of magic to me. It’s like books, but slightly more fascinating for reasons I don't quite know how to explain.

Many new songs these days sound like stuff I’ve heard before. If we ever reach a point when people find there's no new music, that's when the world should end. Hopefully we'll all be dead by then and it won't happen any time soon because you've got the music in yoooouu . . . health insurance rip off, lying, FDA, big bankers buying, fake computer crashes, dying . . . sorry, I got distracted by the awesomeness of that song.

Right, I think I'm done now.

Rain: A Sonnet On It

I really wanted to write a Petrarchan sonnet but wasn't particularly inspired when I wrote it because it wasn't raining. Also, I found it's way harder than I thought it would be. Keeping track of rhyming schemes and metre at the same time can be incredibly difficult, but managed to do it somehow. Not very well, but I did it.

A faint glow lights up the dark morning sky
And slowly gets bright, turning up the heat.
Slowly creeping up on you from your feet,
The harsh sun rays strike you right in the eye.
You crawl through the day with many a sigh,
Too hot and drowsy to get off your seat,
Drink water, eat some ice, water, repeat,
Wishing for the cold, for the heat to die.
But soon the white sky turns to a deep grey
With a few clouds, the occasional breeze,
And the promise of rain from far away.
The winds get cold and much stronger, and trees
Start getting wet and violently sway.
Rain pours down at last, puts the world at ease.

Because drawing a picture always makes it better.

More haikus

The haiku is not
A form I excel at, but
I try anyway.

Three souls in my room:

Frightened me looking round for

Two flying insects.

Insect 1 and 2,

Please don’t fly about like that

Go, leave me alone.

Insect 1

Like a sleek sporty version of a ladybug 

Insect on my couch

Sat there resting for a while

And then disappeared.

Insect 2

Creepy, I tell you

Insect on my wall

Jumped at me, so I jumped too.

It shall jump no more.

Which reminds me, RIP, Chris Kelly. (For those of you who don’t know, he was part of the duo Kris Kross. Their most famous song was Jump. I swear I didn’t think about it until I finished writing that haiku)

Also, I didn’t squish the wall insect. It disappeared quietly just like the other one.

I thought it might help\ to choose some annoying things\ and write about them

Look, a haiku title! I'm trying not to rant in spurts and to make my thoughts seem somewhat structured.

Something that's been bugging me a lot recently is Little Mix’s acoustic cover of fun.’s We Are Young, so I wrote alternate lyrics to be sung in the original tune (of We Are Young, just in case you missed it the first time)
Please excuse my lack of proper punctuation. For once, I don't care much about that.

Damn y’all, Little Mix
You really ruined We Are Young
You don’t deserve that fun. song
Cause you don’t know how it’s to be sung
It doesn’t sound very good now
I am rather scarred
By how you squeezed out every drop of fun.
From each lovely bar and

I know they may have given you the right
To do a cover of their song
But if they could see how bad you’d be
Before they hastily agreed, you know
They’d surely try to take it back

So stop your bawdy vibratos and mewling harmonies
Leave good songs alone

Dumb band
I hate you
Next time use your brains and you might
Find that you can write
Something new

Now I know that they’re not
As young as you lot
But that don’t mean, it don’t mean
You can turn their song into a pile of snot
But the deed is done
You have murdered fun.
Maybe someone will soon shoot you down too

Dumb band,
I hate you
Next time use your brains and you might
Find that you can write
Something new

Little Mix, sing no more. Oh Little Mix, sing no more
(NA NA na na na na NA NA, na na na na NA NA na na na na NA NA, na na na na)
Little Mix, sing no more. Oh Little Mix, sing no more
(NA NA na na na na NA NA, na na na na NA NA na na na na NA NA, na na na na)
NA NA...continue)
LM you should be banned from the entire music land
For you sound so warped, gorbellied, dankish, and bland
It’s getting out of hand, it’s time we took a stand
And decided how to muzzle such bands

Dumb band,
I hate you
Next time use your brains and you might
Find that you can write
Something new

So stop your bawdy vibratos and mewling harmonies
Leave good songs alone, dumb band.

Because I refuse to put up the Little Mix version

You may or may not think they're bad enough to warrant that much wrath, but I certainly feel better after writing that.

My First Graphic Novel

Mom and I were cleaning out part of my room a couple of days ago. Here are three things I'm glad we found among the several piles of junk:
1. My 12th grade final exam report card (in tatters, but somewhat recognizable as a report card)
2. Four skipping ropes
3. A story I wrote and illustrated in the second grade. At least I think it was in the second grade because it was in a grade 2 notebook. I have no other way of telling because I don't think my stories have developed all that much since then and I still draw Christmas trees the same way.
Anyway, we happened to find it a little ridiculous and randomly funny, so here you go:

 

 

I once played a tree in a play in Kindergarten. Maybe that's why I can feel for this tree, never mind that I looked a lot less tree-like.

British vs. American

I was reading a friend's blog post http://quillonparchment.blogspot.in/2013/03/load-of-cra-i-mean-tosh.html and typing out a lengthy comment when I realized
1) I don't want to rant too much on someone else's post
2) Even if I do, making a post of it is a better idea. I get to write as much as I want and be credited with getting off my lazy ass (no wait, I'm still sitting) and writing another post.
3) "I always think of a third thing when I'm listing stuff."

For those of you who didn't bother reading that post, it was about... eh, if you didn't bother, I won't bother. And if you're smart, you'll figure it out. Here's what I have to say:

1. Coffee is awesome!
If you're not a coffee drinker and are complaining about it, you don't know what you're talking about. If you are, you know that no matter what grouses you may claim to have with coffee, you'll go running back to it sooner or later (probably sooner). If you're a snob like me, you'll probably look down upon the lesser coffees, but you will never hesitate to appreciate the wonderful impacts of the drink and thank the plants and the goats and everyone associated with making coffee what it is today.

As for the popularity of the drink, coffee has been a staple drink in most of the south for many years while tea has been (and still is) prevalent in the north and north-east.
Secondly, from what I've noticed, good tea is a lot more expensive than good coffee, making it available to fewer people.
Lastly, coffee gives you a better caffeine kick than tea and has a stronger taste, so I suppose lots of people feel like they're getting more.
All this assuming you don't pollute your tea or coffee with milk and sugar and other such nonsense.

However, I haven't seen too many tea chains open up. Bloody Coffee Day (happy, Sanjana?) is taking over our cities. Being someone who also enjoys good tea, I agree, poor chai.

2. I've never actually heard people use "period" instead of "full stop". I've only seen it in jokes. Or when people use an extra word to make a point. *cue laughter* Also, Brit shows and movies today seem way more liberal in their use of "that god awful word that rhymes with 'duck'" than American ones of similar genres.

3. Isn't "maths" much harder to pronounce than "math"?

4. Come on, James Bond has been played by several people. If you don't like a couple of them, it doesn't matter that much because you like the others, so Bond's reputation hasn't suffered too badly. But if you don't like Robert Downey Jr., all he can do is put on his Iron Man suit and hope it makes you like him. Besides, Sean Connery, who was arguably the best Bond ever, has his distinctive Scottish accent (which IS technically Brit, but I think British implied English in that post).

Now I'm not trying to say all things Brit are better than all things American, but here are my problems with the Americans taking over.

1. BBC Entertainment cancelled! On television across the entire country!! Lack of demand, apparently. What a pitiful state of affairs! That channel had the most beautiful wildlife documentaries I've ever seen on television. And Doctor Who. And this:

How cruel one must be to deny people the right to experiencing the sheer brilliance and awesomeness that is Sherlock! How DARE they!

2. Quick, how many British music artists can you name? (I'm talking about pop/rock kind of artists, so if you thought of a bunch of classical musicians, I'm afraid I probably wouldn't know who you were talking about. But you could tell me so that I would know.)
Unless you actually make the effort (or were introduced to them by some happy accident), you probably don't know much about anyone besides Madonna, Adele, The Wanted, and One Direction.
I'm not saying it's your fault; I'm saying we don't get to hear as much of/about them as, say, Taylor Swift. Or any of the dozens of American artists I'm sure you can think of in the next few seconds. Which is wrong.

3. Spelling. Don't get me started.

4. Lonely Planet sold to Americans by Brits! It's Lonely Planet, so it should still be awesome, but I don't find this reassuring at all. The Brits there are probably kicking themselves and singing an awful Akon song right now.

Isn't It Ironic?

Alanis Morissette's Ironic is a song I used to love when I was younger because I used to think the lyrics were so deep and clever. That was before I learned what "ironic" really means. I've seen several instances of people voicing their annoyance of the song and its lyrics, so I decided to go one step further and break it down a little. I love pointing out other people's mistakes, and with a song like this, you're totally asking for it.

Most of the lines confuse irony with life being a bitch, and as Richard Castle says, "Ever since that Alanis Morisette song, people use it when they actually mean 'coincidence'. Drives me nuts!"
So let's begin, shall we?

An old man turned 98. He won a lottery and died the next day.

What it's really an example of: life being a bitch.

What would have been ironic: An old man turned 98 and died the same day. On his birthday. Oh wait, that's just a coincidence. Thanks for messing with my head, Alanis!

Let's try another one and keep the cash in. Old man is very sick and needs money for treatment. He wins the lottery and goes to collect his money but gets hit by a bus on the way. So he dies in his attempt to get something that would have prolonged his life. Oh, and it was on his 98th birthday. Just because.

Don't you feel worse for my old man than the one in the song? I certainly do. Also, I read somewhere that you're more likely to die on your way to buy a ticket than you are to actually win the lottery.

It's a black fly in your Chardonnay

What it's really an example of: goodness knows!

What would have been ironic: I honestly can't say because I have absolutely no clue what that's all about. Is it ironic because black flies don't usually like Chardonnay? Is Chardonnay used as a fly repellant? Rich people should try it; Alanis seems to imply it might work.
On its own, I'd interpret the line as the statement of an unfortunate incident for both the fly and the person who won't drink that stuff any more. And maybe the Chardonnay who feels tainted and wasted. But given the context, I don't know, what the hell is it supposed to mean??

Sure enough, there are images online. This one doesn't look natural at all, but you get the idea, right?

It's a death row pardon two minutes too late

What it's really an example of: life being a bitch.

What would have been ironic: The accused person's lawyer found the evidence of the victim's innocence a little too late. He was delayed because he was busy digging up the evidence to save the dude. If he hadn't spent that time trying to find the evidence, he may have been able to do something to delay the verdict. What would have saved the man ended up killing him.

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

No. Also, that's bad grammar. It should be "It's ironic, don't you think?" or "Isn't it ironic? What do you think?"

It's like rain on your wedding day

What it's really an example of: awesomeness! Unless you're among those weird people who don't like rain, in which case it's still an example of life being a bitch.

If Gene Kelly danced in the rain, it's bound to be awesome.

Again, I don't quite get it. Do weddings only happen on days that are supposed to have dry weather with almost no humidity? Don't people get married in the tropics? There are several other questions that the ambiguity of this statement brings up: Is it raining exactly when the wedding is going on? Is it even raining in the same area? There's going to be rain somewhere no matter what day you choose for your wedding. And if it IS raining where you're getting married during your wedding, does this statement still make sense if it's an indoor wedding? So many questions.

What would have been ironic: The weather channel said it would rain and it actually did! For the sake of sticking to this context, let's say you'd planned an outdoor wedding because you naturally assumed that the weather channel was wrong as usual. However, it started pouring right after the wedding started and everybody was drenched. And if you had any sense, you danced in the rain and laughed at all the people scurrying around to get shelter.
Which brings me to another example of irony: one of your irritating relatives is in such a hurry to get out of the rain that she trips and falls, getting slathered in mud and more wet than she would have been if she'd only kept her cool.

It's a free ride and you've already paid

What it's really an example of: someone tricking you because you're not very smart. Why would you pay for a free ride?

What would have been ironic: If you're the thirteenth person to buy a ticket, you get another one free. You manage to be the one to get that free ticket. Then you realize you can only use it for that one trip and have no one with you who can use it (plus you're not nice enough to give it to that last person in line who seems like she really wants to be on that bus but won't get a ticket because they'll all be sold out when she reaches the front of the line). You also realize you wouldn't have bought that ticket if it hadn't been for the lure of the free one.
This is how many sales and offers work, so beware!

It's the good advice that you just didn't take and who would've thought it figured?

What it's really an example of: you not listening to me when I told you to be wary of those offers. In a more broad context, it's about you not listening to your mom and giving her a chance to say "I told you so".

What would have been deliciously ironic: your mom tells you not to go surfing because you might drown. You go anyway and master the moves in a couple of days. One day, you see some kid drowning and no one jumps in to save him because the sea is rough. You grumble about the pesky kid not listening to his mom and going too far into the sea but decide to save him anyway because that's what cool surfers do. Everyone loves you for being a hero and your mom is proud. You manage to not only not drown but also save someone else from drowning, and you get to say "I told you so" to your mom.

Mr. Play-it-safe was afraid to fly. He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye.
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight, and as the plane crashed down, he thought, "well, isn't this nice!"

Seems ironic, but once again, it's just life being a bitch, Just because you haven't been on a plane before doesn't mean you have a smaller chance of dying in that crash than frequent fliers. And if you've flown before, you get to add those trips to the number of times you could have died but didn't. A first timer doesn't have that to reassure himself.

What would have been ironic: Air Force pilot retired because he was done with risking his life in the air. After quitting, he took a flight back home, and that plane crashed and killed him. Say, lots of people dying in this song!

"I'm getting on that flight and going home. You coming?"

To give Alanis the benefit of the doubt, if he thought the plane crash was nice, that may just be the first example of irony in the song so far. On second thoughts, I'm not giving her the benefit of the doubt because the "well, isn't this nice?" sounds rather sarcastic.

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when . . . (indiscernable words) . . . everything blows up in your face.

Be more careful when you're dealing with life. And when you're discussing irony.

Traffic jam when you're already late

What it's really an example of: life being a bitch.

What would have been ironic: Everyone leaves an hour early to avoid rush hour traffic, but because they all decide to leave an hour early, they're in the middle of the jam they created. If they'd left at normal jam time, they probably wouldn't be stuck in traffic.

No Smoking sign on your cigarette break

This sounds like bad phrasing, but it might be the only example of irony in the entire song. You wouldn't expect to be told not to smoke during a cigarette break, right?

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

You have WAY too many spoons. Buy some goddamned knives already! And learn how to cook food instead of only eating it. I'm not even going to try and come up with a relevant situation here because this is simply ridiculous.

It's meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife

Not necessarily ironic. The existence of a beautiful wife doesn't guarantee a happy ever after. One can do a number of things to get rid of the wife.

What would have been ironic: You fall in love with Barney Stinson because he seems perfect but then realize he's only a character and the actor who plays him is gay, so he'll never be yours. Plus he has an adorable family you wouldn't dream of tearing apart.

I mean, come on, just look at them!

But I have to say even that's not ironic once you realize that pretty much all guys who seem perfect are gay.

And here's my favourite example of irony: Alanis Morissette gives us a song about irony that doesn't really have anything ironic in it.
Well done, Alanis. Well done. Verbal irony, anyone?

It's ironic, don't you think?

Blackfield

What can you find in the blackfield? I think it would look like this (but with whistle blades, whatever those are)

I wish the picture could've been bigger, but I guess one could always click on it.

The lyrics:

Curling lips, fingertips, dead eye dips

I saw it all in the blackfield

Splinter cracks, summer tracks, paperbacks

We found them all in the blackfield

In the shade, whistle blades, singing fades

In the blackfield

She wants to stay and talk all day

So I remark when it gets dark

All the pale things under the earth will reverse.

River glass, cycle past, overcast

I saw it all in the blackfield

Copper sky, shadows rise, bridge of sighs

We had it all in the blackfield

Skin tracks, face facts, fade to black

In the blackfield

She wants to stay and talk all day

So I remark when it gets dark

All the pale things under the earth will reverse.

Will draw the second part later when I feel like it. Until then, listen to the song if you haven't already.

Resurrection

Hello!

All my fellow bloggers dear
Have written something new this year,
So I suppose
It's time I chose
To try and put up something here.

Because rhyming lines to form a limerick, even one that's in no way remarkable, makes it seem like I put in more effort than I actually did.
Also, not ALL my blogger friends have posted; just most of them.

On new year's eve, I considered writing a line and posting it so I could complete it later and pretend I'd taken the trouble to finish the year off with a proper post. That was before I realized that it would probably make all my future posts a couple of lines long (and not in an awesome way like http://www.dullestblog.com/) and that I'd rather be partying with my friends than writing a half-hearted post.
This paragraph has the word "post" too many times. Post.

If you're wondering about the silent months before new year's eve, here's a list of the exciting events in my life that prevented me from blogging:

1. Nothing.
>
>
>
>
(Wait for it . . .)
>
>
(I actually find this symbol annoying when it's used as a spacemaker.)
*
*
*Post. Also my favourite cereal brand ever.*
*
*
2. Hold on, I'm sure there's . . . oh, sorry. Still nothing.
*
*
*
*
3. I always think of a third thing when I'm listing stuff. (Thank you, Liz Lemon.)

Now, because I haven't blogged in ages (Wow, I really didn't think it had been THAT long!) and because I feel like I should add pictures whenever possible, I've made a visual representation of the resurrection of my blog.

There. Make of it what you will.

By the way, if I were a dead fish, this is how I would want to be treated:

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ramsay rocks!!!!