A Brand New Day

A few days ago, it suddenly struck me: I don't care about the new year. Never have, and the more I consider it, the more sure I am that I never will. It's easy to think you care when you have hundreds of places telling you how awesome new year's eve is going to be, or when people are asking what you plan to do or, if you're unfortunate enough to be that age, what your new year resolution is.

Truth is, the only change is a number on the calendar, and that shouldn't fluster you at all unless you're in school and have teachers who force you to write the full date on every used page of your notebook. Sure, some people use the new year as an excuse to party, but who's stopping us from doing that on any other day? Who says we can't have fun without donating an organ to pay for a party filled with strange people on a day when we don't have to study or work within the next 24 hours? (If you do get a day off, you're among the lucky ones.)

Now, Earth is way older than any of us can imagine being (unless Doctor Who is amongst us reading this, in which case I'm more than happy to eat my words), so who on earth decided that January 1st is its birthday? I'm not sure Earth herself keeps track or even appreciates us making a big deal of it. If anything, Mamma E probably wants some peace and quiet rather than people setting off fireworks in her atmosphere.

But if I had to say one positive thing about the new year hype, it's that it can't be all bad if it resulted in this:

Lea Michele makes every other version of this song sound like the musical equivalent of dinosaur poop.

As for the whole forget-about-or-be-thankful-for-the-past-and-move-on thing, we need to do that all the time. Every day is the beginning of a new year, and there's no reason for us to treat only one particular day with so much unwarranted attention.
In keeping with that spirit, here's another great song. If you watch Lie To Me and have heard it already, well, listen again!

So if you wish me, I shall be civil and thank you graciously, but if you want me to wish you a happy new year (though you don't really care that much either, do you?) wait until your birthday. Until then, good day to you.

Presents?

It's that time of the year again when almost everyone is anticipating presents. And I can't think of presents without thinking of this scene from 30 Rock:

For those of you who didn't want to wait for a video to load (although that's a short clip totally worth watching) this is basically it:

Dotcom:    Hey Trey, we just picked up your birthday party invitations from the printer.
Tracy:        Wait, What is this? "Give to charity please. No presents."?
Dotcom:    Yeah, that's what you told me to put on the card.
Tracy:        No Dotcom, I said "give to charity? Please, no! PRESENTS!"

Haven't you wondered why people talk about the two things like it's an either/or situation? You have people who spend absurd amounts of money on things they don't need (although anything must seem practical after the gifts baby Jesus was given) and others who act like they're sacrificing everything by buying stuff for less fortunate people instead of for themselves.
However, cynical optimist that I am, I like to think it's because awesome people don't talk a lot about their presents or how much they're doing for society, or both.

Christmas to me usually means music and food and family. The whole wrapped presents under the tree affair doesn't excite me much, partly because we don't have a tree and partly because I like to get presents when I need them. We're not a family that gets new clothes and stuff just because it happens to be festival time or someone's birthday. Besides, I have very specific and limited wants that no one seems to get. Presents never happen.

Okay, that's not true; we get presents when we get presents, and the more unexpected the timing, the better. I was simply thinking of one of my favourite lines from James Valentine's Jumpman series. It's been several years since I read it, so these may not be the exact words, but it went something like this:
The past is gone, the future is unknown, and the present never happens.

This character in the book explains how, for example, when you consider the idea of the present being now, by the time you've said or thought "now", it's already in the past. Like you're reading this now. It's already happened. Mind-blowing, come to think of it.

So, Christmas is upon us and I shall enjoy it. Doesn't matter that I won't get a present. Not presently, at least. Or now. Or now. Well, you get the idea.
Have an extraordinary merry Christmas!

Makes Me Wonder

There are certain things about this world that should probably not confuse me so much, but they do. For instance . . .

Car racing

At some point, mankind decided we aren't messed up enough already, so we should build some fancy cars that'll guzzle tons of petrol but which people will never drive on roads or do anything useful with.

Douchebags.

Ryan Gosling

I just don't get it. Sure, he's not bad looking and he's not a bad actor, but there is nothing about him that justifies the hordes of starry-eyed girls who start squealing at the very mention of his name. 

This is where I'd put up a picture of him 

to explain my indifference 

if I liked or hated him enough 

to have a picture of him on my blog. 

Justin Bieber

What up with all the hate? He sounds better than the other famous kids who sing these days, he's a decent dancer, he produces some of his music (I think), and he's adorable. Okay, not so adorable any more. Still, he has some pretty good songs. Disliking him is understandable, but to hate him enough to devote so much time and energy into channelling that hate is a little abnormal. Come on, if you don't like him, ignore him. No one's forcing him on you.

Ambidextrous confusion

It's befuddling how most people are wired. If you can do something with one hand, it's only logical that you should be able to do it just as well with the other hand. I'm sure science has explanations, but it seems wrong to not be ambidextrous when we have bilaterally symmetrical bodies. I mean, have you ever heard anyone ask which foot you use more? We're SUPPOSED to be able to use both hands equally well.

Another thing I don't understand is people who make me have conversations like this:

All right, I haven’t thought of shunning the non-believers before.

Anyway, I've realized conversations like this are easier:

Other people: Oh, you're a leftie?

Me: Yes.

Other people, later: Hey, you're using your right hand!

Me: Yes.

Other people: So which do you use more while writing?

Me, ever so sweetly: Whichever I want.

It’s not that I don’t use a certain hand more often than the other to do some things; it’s just annoying when people try to label you as left-handed or right-handed, especially when they seem to ardently believe that how you write is the only thing that matters.

Why do people care so much about writing anyway? First off, most people hardly write by hand any more thanks to computers and phones and the like. Secondly, when did writing become the most important thing we do? Why don't people ask about things we all do every day, like which hand you eat with or brush your teeth with or wash your butt with after pooping? Fine, I know why people might avoid that last one, but you get the point, yes?

People who don't like rain and/or chocolate

Rain is beautiful. Rain is inspiring. Rain makes everything brighter and cleaner. Rain (usually) gives some relief from blinding sunlight and makes the weather perfect for junk food, coffee, hot chocolate . . .

I don't get why people would not like chocolate. To not like some kinds of chocolate is fine. To not like ANY sort of chocolate? Disturbing.

Why feet are shunned

So you’re sitting on the floor and your feet happen to point towards someone. The first person to notice will try to catch your attention and make you change your sitting position in as discreet a manner as possible. If this doesn’t work, said person will proceed to get anxious because if more people notice your blasphemous feet, you’re disrespectful and there’s going to be hell to pay.

Now unless your feet are really dirty, there's no good reason why it should bother anyone. What's all the fuss about? Are you going to accuse the feet for not being more flexible or altogether invisible? Like they don't do enough for us already! Feet really are taken for granted and not appreciated nearly as much as they should be. Be nice to your feet, people!

Why guys wear so much deodorant

I wonder which came first, the advertisements with guys who wear too much deo or the actual guys who wear too much deo. It's perfectly understandable why selfish deo companies have ads like that, but are guys stupid enough to fall for that or are brands tapping into some unknown-to-others system in guys that makes them use a can as a single helping?

Either way, the stench has terrible effects on normal people's olfactory senses. And oh, it does NOT make you attractive. At all.

Mobile phone sizes

When we went from landlines to cordless phones to cellphones, I naturally assumed phones were getting smaller so they were more, you know, mobile.

But then at some point, there was this conspiracy I was completely unaware of and suddenly things started going the other way around. Mobile phones went from something you could easily operate with one hand to something you needed two hands to hold carefully to something you could no longer carry in your pockets unless you got yourself a magician's coat. And I still can't help but snigger silently when I see something like this:

Sure, I’ve never heard anyone actually say that, but it looks awfully inconvenient.

Music

Not so much confusing as incredibly amazing. Seven notes is basically all we have, and there are millions of songs and so many different genres it's mind blowing. It's nothing short of magic to me. It’s like books, but slightly more fascinating for reasons I don't quite know how to explain.

Many new songs these days sound like stuff I’ve heard before. If we ever reach a point when people find there's no new music, that's when the world should end. Hopefully we'll all be dead by then and it won't happen any time soon because you've got the music in yoooouu . . . health insurance rip off, lying, FDA, big bankers buying, fake computer crashes, dying . . . sorry, I got distracted by the awesomeness of that song.

Right, I think I'm done now.