No Nos.

Phones are helpful when you need to check the time, but when I'm at home, I still rely on the wall clock. Whose dial started falling apart a couple of weeks ago. Soon, part of it was torn and hanging off the surface, which made all three hands stop at that point even though the battery was still working.

So when I took the dial off, I decided to replace it with something slightly more creative than the regular digits on a clock. Not that I didn't have more pressing work to do, but drawing on a wall clock is probably the next best thing to drawing on a wall, and who doesn't want to do that? Also, I'm surprisingly focused with stuff like this, especially when there are more important things to be done. Anyway, this is what it looks like now.

Most of it is easy to figure out, but I do tend to have outlandish ideas sometimes, so maybe this might make more sense with an explanation. Not that anyone really needs to know what my clock looks like, but it's another of my attempts to "make good art", so here goes:



1. Unicorn (or unihorn, as I like to call it)

Simple enough to understand, I'm sure. Unicorn = one horn. Could have used a rhino if I'd wanted it to be more representative of where I come from, but anyway...
Also, unicorns are unique. One of a kind.

2. Yin and Yang

Also pretty obvious, the two main balancing forces of the universe and all that jazz.

3. The Fates

There's the one who spins the thread, the one who measures it, and the one who cuts, so here's the spindle, a measuring tape, and scissors. And the thread of life, of course.

4. Seasons of Love

A combination of two things that come in fours: seasons - summer (sun), spring (leaf), monsoon (water drops. Maybe a dry leaf if you're from a place with autumn instead), and winter (snowflakes. We don't have snow - or proper winter, really - in most parts of the country, but I like drawing snowflakes). Also, the human heart has four chambers. Seasons + heart = awesome Rent song.

5. Pentagram = Elements

Representation of the five elements in harmony. Not sure how harmonious mine are with the pentagram being that wonky, but life isn't perfect anyway.

6. Death                                      

Most people would probably relate sixes with abs or beer or cricket, but for some reason, the only thing I could think of was how when you die, you're put six feet under. A coffin seemed too morbid to draw on a clock. It would be like an ominous voice going "Your time is up! Muhahahaha!"
I love Terry Pratchett, so Death it is. Also, this looks a lot cooler than a can of beer although the latter would have been easier to draw.

                                                                                                               

7. Music + Rainbow

Another combination: a treble clef (which isn't really a musical note, but it conveys the idea) and what appears to be blank music sheets with extra lines but is supposed to be the seven colours of the rainbow. The dial was supposed to be multicoloured. In my defence, all the colours combined give you white, so there.

8. Octopus

Pretty obvious, with the eight tentacles.

9. Cat

Nine lives. Again, simple and obvious.

10. Bowling Pins

The most boring one of the lot, in my opinion, but I couldn't think of anything else. Funny, considering how I seem to round things to the nearest ten so often while counting.
A much cooler idea would have been numbers, but the whole point of doing this was to avoid using digits.

11. Football + Movie

Eleven people on a football team, as you know. But the thing I immediately associated with "eleven" was "Ocean's", i.e. the movie. So there you have what is supposed to be an ocean wave. I'm cheesy, I know. But at least I didn't draw George Clooney.

12. Zodiac Signs

There are twelve signs in all, but I only drew the one that's generally considered the twelfth. Also, it's my sign, so I had no scruples about choosing it over the others.




Not bad for an accidental project, right? So, to paraphrase Gaiman, whenever things fall apart or there's too much stuff you don't want to do that needs to be done, (or even when everything in your life is absolutely lovely) here's the best thing you can do: make good art.
Or at least make, and hopefully it'll be art, and good.

Under Cover

Here's something important we don't seem to talk about enough: umbrellas.

If they're around when we need them, we take them for granted, and if they're not, we curse them and ourselves and the weather and anything else we can badmouth (which, when you're in a foul mood, is basically everything).  

In the hierarchy of commonly used things, the umbrella's position seems only slightly higher than that of the alarm clock (which gets cursed when it works AND when it doesn't, so I shouldn't even start on that topic). Seems rather unfair considering how useful they are to us.

Anyone who has known me in the last year or two knows I always carry an umbrella when I'm going out for a considerable amount of time using public transport. Most people would carry a foldable one which can fit into a little bag, but I choose to carry this huge unfoldable (and extremely prominent) multicoloured umbrella.

 

It's been called "Gay Umbrella" and "Rainbow Umbrella" among other things. To make things easier and avoid repetitive use of the word "umbrella", I think I'll go with "Pride". The name works in more than one way. Adding a picture of a few lions would give it another dimension, but I think I'd rather not do that.

Why do I do that? (By "that" I mean carrying Pride around, not the refusal to stick lion pictures all over it.) Well, here's why: 

1) It looks totally awesome. For all those (weird) people who hate a rainy day, if Pride doesn't cheer you up, I don't know what will.

2) It makes a wonderful walking stick (when you're my height. But you also get bigger sizes than mine)

I'm not that fancy looking, but strutting around with Pride makes me feel like I am.

3) For someone who's sensitive to bright light, it's very useful even when it isn't raining. If I don't know what the weather is like, I don't have to carry a hat and an umbrella; I can just take the Pride.

4) It gives me my personal space (literally). I've received some frowns from people who've had to move the slightest bit out of the way when it's open, but that's the point: they're not supposed to be closer than that anyway.

5) Hopefully it won't come to this, but if it does, I can use it as a weapon. I had to take it as check-in luggage on a flight because they said the sharp end could hit and injure someone (not that you necessarily need something sharp for that). Anyway, my umbrella arrived safe and sound, so nothing to complain about there.

I dread to imagine the consequences of not being nearly as quick as Jet Li, but that tea thing looks so cool I'd love to do it some time.

But of course, one can practise, thanks to all those jerks in cars who speed through puddles just so they can splash pedestrians.

6) It just occurred to me that you can also use an umbrella to hide from familiar people you don't want to run into. I've never needed to do that, but you could try it if you're really desperate to avoid someone.

I get asked quite often if it isn't a burden to carry around. Honestly, I don't think so, for all the reasons above and also because I don't carry too many things when I go out. If you do, you should probably consider leaving some stuff behind to make room for an umbrella. It's the one thing you can legally carry around which gives you all the protection you're likely to need.

PS - I can't believe I unwittingly named my umbrella in the course of writing this. I like it, though. It works at least for the purposes of this post, if nothing else.