Aeroplane Etiquette

As anyone who has been on an aeroplane knows, it doesn't take more than one annoying co-passenger to ruin everyone's flight. There are some great posts on The Oatmeal highlighting several terrible things about planes, but I'd like to add a few more common problems (and possible solutions)

For instance, I don't spend much time thinking about horrible ways in which I might die when I'm not on a plane. And the most irritating cause of death would be a plane crash caused by some douche who simply HAS to make a call after the announcement to switch phones off is made. Of course, said idiots do not hang up until the plane takes off. 

They even act like people who ask them to hang up are being unreasonable. Because of course two minutes on a precious call is more important than the lives of all the people on the plane.

Then there's the problem that's common to any closed space: the diffusion of sounds and odours. Like loud conversations, bawling babies, or, worst of all, stinky farts.

And by "medicine" I mean odours and noises, obviously.

Then there are people who stand up as soon as the plane touches the ground. It's especially annoying when this is done by people who aren't in the aisle seats because they try and squeeze past other passengers when the plane is already slightly wobbly. Seriously, when they say the luggage in the overhead cabins might have shifted, it doesn't mean your luggage is going to jump out the plane as soon as it's on the ground.

There should be an accompanying announcement, such as "Passenger in Seat no. __ is anxious to get off the plane early. We are happy to oblige. Have a pleasant flight!"

I'm more than happy to have this as a solution for Problem #1 as well.

If you've been on several flights and haven't had an annoying person on the plane with you, you are one of the following: 1) incredibly fortunate 2) the annoying co-passenger 

If you're option 2, I don't suppose you realise who you are or even care, but I'll say this anyway: please do try and ensure you're not the one making every other tired passenger's journey more uncomfortable than it already is.