Holy Mackerel!: Say What You Mean

As someone who usually takes things at face value, it is after much confusion and annoyance over the years that I've realized you often need to take what people say with a pinch of salt.

Of course, there are things you're naturally wary of, like advertisements or restaurant menus that seem too good to be true (because that's exactly what they are).
Sometimes, it's mildly amusing, like when someone you follow has other "followers you know".

How did they know Stephen Amell and I are best friends?

Sometimes, you quickly learn certain things are relative, such as coffee strength or distances:

But at times you realize that many people's understanding of certain words and concepts are nowhere close to what you assume is the real meaning. For example:

"I'm broke."

I suppose you could say that's relative too, but sometimes it's stretched a little too far.
Let me elaborate.
Fortunately, I've never been broke or claimed to be. So the closest I've been was probably in college when I was too lazy to go get money from the ATM.

Me: I only have ten rupees, so these are my dinner options:

My roommate: I'M SO BROKE!

Next day:

Misinterpretation works both ways, though. Like this one time when she was trying to buy something online and asked:

"I promise..."

I take promises very, very seriously, so I tend to believe people when they give me their word on something. If I actually use the word "promise" I make sure to follow through, no matter what. My 8-year-olds will tell you that I even treat pinkie swears with the utmost respect.

So if you say you "promise" to do something and then don't, you shouldn't blame me for flying into an irrational rage.
Especially if you try to brush it off (as many people do) with "promises are meant to be broken".

"Yes, I love reading."

I know it's kind of mean and condescending, but well...

Also, I've noticed that there are some people who, after I've completely trashed Chetan Bhagat, say something along the lines of "Yeah, I don't like him either... but I liked Two States. That was actually a really fun book."
It's almost always Two States that's mentioned in this kind of footnote. So either that IS better than his usual trash or (more likely) these people like his books and are just too embarrassed/polite to say so after I've expressed my intense aversion.

"I didn't sleep last night."

There have been very, very few days in my life when it's happened, but when I say I haven't slept, it's because I haven't slept. At all. So the reactions I got were initially quite confusing. All conversations on sleep deprivation went something like this:

And then, I made a marvellous discovery.
I found that people who said they hadn't slept really meant they'd slept very little (i.e. less than their usual quota). Most people I know say this when they've had four hours or less.
SO, when I say "no sleep", they assume I've got about two-four hours, which explains their alarm when I talk of sleep time in minutes.

My confusion is surely understandable. See, when I say I haven't slept at all, this is what my night is like: