There are certain things about this world that should probably not confuse me so much, but they do. For instance . . .
Right, I think I'm done now.
Car racing
At some point, mankind decided we aren't messed up enough already,
so we should build some fancy cars that'll guzzle tons of petrol but which
people will never drive on roads or do anything useful with.
Douchebags.
Ryan Gosling
I just don't get it. Sure, he's not bad looking and he's not a bad
actor, but there is nothing about him that justifies the hordes of starry-eyed
girls who start squealing at the very mention of his name.
This is where I'd put up a picture of him
to explain my indifference
if I liked or hated him enough
to have a picture of him on my blog.
Justin Bieber
What up with all the hate? He sounds better than the other famous
kids who sing these days, he's a decent dancer, he produces some of his music (I think),
and he's adorable. Okay, not so adorable any more. Still, he has some pretty
good songs. Disliking him is understandable, but to hate him enough to devote
so much time and energy into channelling that hate is a little abnormal. Come
on, if you don't like him, ignore him. No one's forcing him on you.
Ambidextrous confusion
It's befuddling how most people are wired. If you can do something
with one hand, it's only logical that you should be able to do it just as well
with the other hand. I'm sure science has explanations, but it seems wrong to
not be ambidextrous when we have bilaterally symmetrical bodies. I mean, have
you ever heard anyone ask which foot you use more? We're SUPPOSED to be able to
use both hands equally well.
Another thing I don't understand is people who make me have
conversations like this:
All right, I haven’t thought of shunning the non-believers before.
Anyway, I've realized conversations like this are easier:
Other people: Oh, you're a leftie?
Me: Yes.
Other people, later: Hey, you're using your right hand!
Me: Yes.
Other people: So which do you use more while writing?
Me, ever so sweetly: Whichever I want.
It’s not that I don’t use a certain hand more often than the other
to do some things; it’s just annoying when people try to label you as
left-handed or right-handed, especially when they seem to ardently believe that
how you write is the only thing that matters.
Why do people care so much about writing anyway? First off, most
people hardly write by hand any more thanks to computers and phones and the
like. Secondly, when did writing become the most important thing we do? Why
don't people ask about things we all do every day, like which hand you eat with
or brush your teeth with or wash your butt with after pooping? Fine, I know why
people might avoid that last one, but you get the point, yes?
People who don't like rain and/or chocolate
Rain is beautiful. Rain is inspiring. Rain makes everything
brighter and cleaner. Rain (usually) gives some relief from blinding sunlight
and makes the weather perfect for junk food, coffee, hot chocolate . . .
I don't get why people would not like chocolate. To not like some
kinds of chocolate is fine. To not like ANY sort of chocolate? Disturbing.
Why feet are shunned
So you’re sitting on the floor and your feet happen to point
towards someone. The first person to notice will try to catch your attention
and make you change your sitting position in as discreet a manner as possible.
If this doesn’t work, said person will proceed to get anxious because if more
people notice your blasphemous feet, you’re disrespectful and there’s going to
be hell to pay.
Now unless your feet are really dirty, there's no good reason why
it should bother anyone. What's all the fuss about? Are you going to accuse the
feet for not being more flexible or altogether invisible? Like they don't do
enough for us already! Feet really are taken for granted and not appreciated nearly
as much as they should be. Be nice to your feet, people!
Why guys wear so much deodorant
I wonder which came first, the advertisements with guys who wear
too much deo or the actual guys who wear too much deo. It's perfectly
understandable why selfish deo companies have ads like that, but are guys
stupid enough to fall for that or are brands tapping into some
unknown-to-others system in guys that makes them use a can as a single helping?
Either way, the stench has terrible effects on normal people's
olfactory senses. And oh, it does NOT make you attractive. At all.
Mobile phone sizes
When we went from landlines to cordless phones to cellphones, I
naturally assumed phones were getting smaller so they were more, you know,
mobile.
But then at some point, there was this conspiracy I was completely
unaware of and suddenly things started going the other way around. Mobile
phones went from something you could easily operate with one hand to something
you needed two hands to hold carefully to something you could no longer carry
in your pockets unless you got yourself a magician's coat. And I still can't
help but snigger silently when I see something like this:
Sure, I’ve never heard anyone actually say that, but it looks
awfully inconvenient.
Music
Not so much confusing as incredibly amazing. Seven notes is
basically all we have, and there are millions of songs and so many different
genres it's mind blowing. It's nothing short of magic to me. It’s like books,
but slightly more fascinating for reasons I don't quite know how to explain.
Many new songs these days sound like stuff I’ve heard before. If
we ever reach a point when people find there's no new music, that's when the world
should end. Hopefully we'll all be dead by then and it won't happen any time
soon because you've got the music in yoooouu . . . health insurance rip off, lying, FDA, big bankers buying, fake computer crashes, dying . . . sorry, I got distracted by the awesomeness of that song.Right, I think I'm done now.
